Rebuilding trust

C finally met up with W for dinner to talk over the email W sent. It was awkward at first as they have not had one-on-one talk for nearly 2 months. As though the wait wasn't long enough, 2 mutual friends of C and W passed by their table and joined them for dinner. When the friends left, C and W started to really talk.

It began with C expressing disappointment that such 'news' were revealed via email and broken trust to W's words. W responded by saying that those were the very emotions expected and feared of when the email was written. Yet, W chose to write the 'news' in an email and send it anyway. W apologised for revealing the 'news' over email and not face-to-face.

To the question why date T when it would mean facing a similar hurdle when W was dating C, W answered that the relationship with T is worth fighting for. Not to mean that C wasn't worth fighting for, but C made 2 grave mistakes that made W throw in the towel (to which C agreed yet bearing in mind that C had very good reasons for making the mistakes but obviously, repercussions overshadowed the reasons).

To the question why W was able to start another relationship so soon after the break-up, W explained that careful considerations were made and W believed it was a right decision to go out with T. W added that it was not easy because W had to convince T that T wasn't a 'replacement' and that W wasn't just starting the relationship on rebound.

Of course during the 2-hour long conversation, many other things surfaced including the other reasons that led to the mutual break-up...but I shall spare you.

C took it all in and embraced it with an understanding that let to a proper closure of the relationship with W. "To trust or not to trust?" Friendships matter to C. Despite broken trust and disappointment, C endeavours to rebuild trust and the friendship that once was with W.

100 Things About Me...

1) I am timing myself how fast I can come up with 100 things about myself.
2) I've had 3 handphones in the past.
3) I didn't buy any of those 3 handphones nor the current one that I am using.
4) My 1st ever prize won through lucky draw was a gas stove!
5) The last lucky draw prize I won was a DIGI prepaid starter pack.
6) My favourite lucky draw prize was a NOKIA phone.
7) This lucky draw prize NOKIA phone was stolen :(
8) I previously rented a room in a single-storey bungalow and was the sole tenant there for 10 months.
9) That room was burgled.
10) My 1st landlady was a retired woman (separated from her husband)
11) 2nd landlady was a widow (age: 60+)
12) 3rd and current landlady is also a widow (age: 70+)
13) I once stood in the Komuter for 2 hours straight, from Subang Jaya to Seremban.
14) I don't own a car.
15) To date, I've not taken any bank loans.
16) Favourite season : Winter
17) Favourite food : desserts
18) Favourite drink : fruit juice
19) Favourite colour : blue
20) Favourite movie : While You Were Sleeping (I watched it no less than 8 times)
21) I am a sucker for freebies.
22) I won an Enrique Iglesias CD from MixFm roadrunners.
23) I won Guy Sebastian's CD from MixFm's morning show with Richard and Shazmin.
24) I sang "How Do I Live" on air to win Guy's CD.
25) I can't believe I am only at number 25!!!
26) I sang solo at my brother's wedding.
27) I was part of a trio who won RM 6000 in a singing competition.
28) I love to sing (duh...)
29) I used to dance ballet.
30) I love musicals.
31) Miss Saigon's my favourite musical.
32) I don't mind going to movies alone.
33) I can eat alone in public.
34) My primary schoolmates nicknamed me Jamtart.
35) My close girlfriends call me James.
36) My 1st IRC nickname was Elysee.
37) My other IRC nicknames were Giselle and Jamtart.
38) One of my overused words is 'shoot'.
39) I learnt this word "Crikey" when I was in UK.
40) I bought a "Crikey" tag when I was in Australia visiting my cousin.
41) That tag is now stuck onto my car window :)
42) I tend to use the UK slang "init" instead of "isn't it".
43) I have the same single-sleeved blouse as cousin B.
44) This was the number of the house I stayed in while studying in college.
45) I previously worked in Customer Service Dept. in Crown Relocations.
46) There were 3 of us and we called ourselves "Crown Angels"
47) I am Crown Angel 2.
48) Crown Angel 1 is 2 years my senior.
49) I am older then Crown Angel 3 by.... 2 years :)
50) I am finally half-way thru the list!!
51) Most of my friends are guys.
52) My phonebook can testify that, hehe.
53) I've travelled to Pulau Kapas alone.
54) I've travelled to Pulau Langkawi alone.
55) I've travelled to USA alone.
56) I've been to Paris twice.
57) I visited Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Belgium and Austria with a tour group.
58) I signed up for that tour alone...and had the hotel rooms all to myself without having to pay the single-supplement cost!!
59) I am having difficulty to think of more things to write.
60) My typing skills improved tremendously, thanks to IRC.
61) I worked as an Activity Leader in a summer school in UK.
62) I visited many places in UK for free (as an Activity Leader).
63) As an Activity Leader, my boarding and meals were paid for...
64) ...and I got paid 100 quid a week :)
65) I have worked for 5.5 years
66) I prefer pants to skirts.
67) I don't have a wardrobe cupboard in the current room I am renting now.
68) I can't leave home without my handphone.
69) What else can be said of this number??
70) I hope if I reach this age, I would still be healthy and wise :)
71) Golly, I need to leave office soon for a dinner appointment.
72) I used to call my friends "Chicken" if they exasperated me.
73) I have a number of friends by the name of Daniel.
74) Most unusual name I've heard : Delthine.
75) I use disposable contact lenses.
76) I can finish this list!
77) I finally gave my aunt a pair of golf shoes after having worked in the golf shoe company for 2 years!
78) That's the last 2 numbers of my birth year.
79) Now whoever reads this blog knows my age.
80) I am currently wearing a beige blouse...
81) with a black cardigan over the blouse...
82) ...which cousin B gave me :)
83) I wore white shoes today.
84) Friends say I look good in red.
85) My grandma is 85 this year.
86) I love my family and maternal relatives.
87) My current boss is buggin me as I am trying to finish this list!
88) Chinese ppl love this number.
89) I am looking forward to my new job.
90) Just 10 more to go.
91) I am very late for my dinner appointment.
92) If this was a time-test, I would've failed badly.
93) I have keys to my office.
94) I'm bad with road directions.
95) I love to have tea at Teapot Cafe in ss2.
96) Love the cakes in Alexis Bangsar.
97) I have a gmail email.
98) I have a yahoo email.
99) I am finishing this list..woo hoo!!
100) It took me 53 mins to do this list....maaaannnn....!!!!

The Middle Name that sends shivers through my spine...

...is CHOOI. Why? Because in my working experience, I've reported to L CHOOI P who reported to L CHOOI H, who reported to T CHOOI K. They had different surnames but the SAME Middle Name and all of them in the Marketing Dept! I didn't have bad experiences working with them but each had characteristics that bug the daylights of me.

So when DLM called me for the final job interview, you could imagine how my whole body squirmed when I found out that the name of the Marketing Director was S CHOOI L! DLM offered me the job but the thought of having a superior with THAT Middle Name again, no thanks!!

To trust or not to trust?

C's relationship with W has not been a smooth one since they decided to take the relationship a level above friendship in mid-2002. It was a roller-coaster ride with exhilirating highs, deep plunges and hard-knocks at the corners. Many times C called for time-outs, only to be drawn to W again. Alas, the decision to go separate ways was made 4 months ago. W repeatedly told C that when C finds someone, W will take it as a sign to cease hoping. W confidently added that it would be a very long time before W would start courting someone again, quoting past relationship with L.

Yesterday, W emailed C "I meant to tell you earlier. I am going out with T now". C felt it would be better to just stick a knife through the heart then revealing the truth over email. Some would say 'Hey, the both of you have gone separate ways and it's been 4 months! Get on with life.' Question is "Meant to tell earlier"... so just how long has it been?? How true were those repeated words and quotes 4 months ago??

4 months may be more than enough for some to recover from a 2-year relationship but not for C. And to C's understanding, W is not one that rebounds so quickly. History has proven so. Perhaps W has changed. Perhaps T holds greater qualities than C and L.

C did a self-check. Still in love with W? No, not in the way it used to be in 2003/04/early 05 but still cares for W. Why then was the news upsetting? Basically not knowing why W is able to start another relationship which poses a similar hurdle W faced in relationship with C. How is C to trust W's words from this day forth?